A quién quiero engañar? tal vez a mí misma.
Por qué? porque no quiero ver la realidad.
Miedo? Puede ser, quién no tiene?
Donde quiera que vea, ahi esta. 

Word.

Y se que estas ahí, como siempre, vigilando cada movimiento que realizo, me perseguis con tu silencio. Te escondes donde nadie más te pueda ver. Me ahuyentas, haces que corra un maratón sin retorno. Sos la palabra que nadie quiere nombrar, a la cual todos le huyen. Sos el miedo al cual no puedo hacerle frente.  Crisis, y más crisis me atocigan y me envuelven en una bola de estambre, nudos y nudos sin poder desatar van formando una bomba que en algún momento tendrá su fin.

Palabras y voces  flotan en mi cabeza sin sentido alguno. Oídos sordos.
Resuena una y otra vez Oxygen de fondo,  mi mente se airea, y vuelvo a mi estado de paz.

- ¿A quién quiero engañar? esa es la pregunta.
- A mi misma, esa es la respuesta.

"Como la balanza que mide el tiempo, la soledad y el silencio
como un agujero en el cielo por donde se van los sueños
como esa cesta que tanto cuesta llenar y que se vacía al momento."

 Con los brazos caídos tomo vuelo hacia un horizonte desconocido.

Esta minúscula sensación de intranquilidad, de mal humor, de desgano hace que me cuestione mi rumbo.
Necesito un libro de instrucciones, así  sería sencillo dar cada paso hacia adelante, saber cuando parar, tomarte un respiro y seguir como si nada. Pero el fucking libro no esta, las hojas nunca fueron escritas ni siquiera por medio de un borrador.
Etapa de crisis, de cambios, de tomar decisiones y de abruptos aterrizajes.
En fin, caí y  ahora estoy en el piso.

Torn.

I thought I saw a man brought to life
He was warm
He came around like he was dignified
He showed me what it was to cry
Well you couldn't be that man I adored
You don't seem to know
Seem to care what your heart is for
But I don't know him anymore
There's nothing where he used to lie
My conversation has run dry
That's what's going on
Nothing's fine I'm torn

I'm all out of faith
This is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed
Lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed
Into something real
I'm wide awake
And I can see
The perfect sky is torn
You're a little late
I'm already torn

So I guess the fortune teller's right
Should have seen just what was there
And not some holy light
Which crawled beneath my veins
And now I don't care
I had no luck
I don't miss it all that much
There's just so many things
That I can touch I'm torn

I'm all out of faith
This is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed
Lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed
Into something real
I'm wide awake
And I can see
The perfect sky is torn
You're a little late
I'm already torn
Torn

There's nothing where he used to lie
My inspiration has run dry
That's what's going on
Nothing's right I'm torn

I'm all out of faith
This is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed
Lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed
Into something real
I'm wide awake
And I can see
The perfect sky is torn

I'm all out of faith
This is how I feel
I'm cold and I'm ashamed
Bound and broken on the floor
You're a little late
I'm already torn
Torn.

Crisis.

Estado de crisis en el cuál no sabes que estas haciendo, sólo querés replantearte una y otra vez las cosas y así llegar a una mísera conclusión, que de repente ya no le encontras sentido.
Mi mente es un mar de preguntas, con respuestas que no quieren  salir a la luz, sin embargo de a poco se están convirtiendo en una amenaza, algo que estoy intentando hundir pero logrará salir a flote.

DeMuerte o vida.

Nunca sentiste esa sensación de decir basta?, de que el mundo acabe con vos y te trague la tierra? De dormir y no despertar, o sólo hacerlo cuando se puede creer que todo va a estar bien?. Si alguna vez lo sentiste, bienvenida. Ahora estoy sintiendo eso. 
Miedo, bronca, alivio, pero por sobre todas las cosas MIEDO. Si, me invade, me atosiga, no me deja libre. Me consume como si fuera yo a mis cuatro años. El llanto es su fiel acompañante, nunca lo deja solo. Ambos se unen y arman una estrategia que siempre termina jugandome en contra.
Todo, absolutamente todo fue demasiado rápido, sin tiempo a nada, nisiquiera para dar explicaciones.
Y ahora, me querés decir como sobrevivo?.

Claridad.

La ignorancia a los hechos puede ser  una jugada en contra, una partida pérdida, una perspectiva diferente o sólo una estupidez que tratas de no ver.

Quién necesita volar para que te dejen caer?.

pretending to be good is like looking in the mirror and not see your reflection.

¿SABES LO QUE TE PASA?. NO TIENES VALOR. TIENES MIEDO!. MIEDO DE ENFRENTARTE CONTIGO MISMA Y DECIR: ESTÁ BIEN, LA VIDA ES UNA REALIDAD. LAS PERSONAS SE PERTENECEN LAS UNAS A LAS OTRAS PORQUE ES LA ÚNICA FORMA DE CONSEGUIR LA VERDADERA FELICIDAD. TÚ TE CONSIDERAS UN ESPÍRITU LIBRE, UN SER SALVAJE Y TE ASUSTA LA IDEA DE QUE ALGUIEN PUEDA METERTE EN UNA JAULA. ¡BUENO NENA! YA ESTÁS EN UNA JAULA. TÚ MISMA LA HAS CONSTRUIDO, Y EN ELLA SEGUIRÁS VAYAS A DONDE VAYAS PORQUE NO IMPORTA A DONDE HUYAS, SIEMPRE ACABARÁS TROPEZANDO CONTIGO MISMA.

The life.

Just me.

She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

Cant get you off my mind.

Life is just a lonely highway
I’m out here on the open road
I’m old enough to see behind me
But young enough to feel my soul
I don’t wanna lose you baby
And I don’t wanna be alone
Don’t wanna live my days without you
But for now I’ll have to be without you


I’ve got a pocket full of money
And a pocket full of keys that have no bounds
But then I think of loving
And I just can’t get you off of my mind

Babe can’t you see
That this is killing me
I don’t want to push you baby
And I don’t want you to be told
It’s just that I can’t breathe without
I feel like I’m gonna lose control
(chorus)
What are the rules and reasons and the dos and don’ts
Tell me baby tell me baby
What do you feel inside

Tired.

Hold my hand
While you cut me down
It had only just begun
But now it's over now
And your
In the heat of moments
With your heart
Playing up cold
I'm between the middle
Watching hastiness unfold
In my eyes
Your were smiling
In the spotlight dancing
With the night
The night fell
Off your mind

I'm tired of trying
Your teasing ain't enough
Fed up of biding your time
When i dont get nothing back
And for and for and for
When i don't get nothing back
Boy, i'm tired

Where'd you go
When you stay behind
I looked up and inside down
And outside only to find
A double taking punching hard
And laughing at my smile
I get closer you
Obviously prefer her

I'm tired of trying
Your teasing ain't enough
Fed up of biding your time
When i don't get nothing back
And for and for and for
When i dont get nothing back
Boy, i'm tired of trying
Your teasing aint enough
Fed up of biding your time
When i don't get nothing back
And for and for and for
When i don't get nothing back
Boy, i'm tired

Never mind said
Your open arms
I couldn't help
Belive the trick me
Back into them

Hot and cold.

You change your mind
Like a girl changes clothes
Yeah you, PMS
Like a bitch
I would know
And you overthink
Always speak
Cryptically
I should know
That you're no good for me

Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in and you're out
You're up and you're down
You're wrong when it's right
It's black and it's white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up
You, You don't really want to stay, no
You, but you don't really want to go-o
You're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in and you're out
You're up and you're down

We used to be
Just like twins
So in sync
The same energy
Now's a dead battery
Used to laugh bout nothing
Now your plain boring

I should know that
you're not gonna change

Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in and you're out
You're up and you're down
You're wrong when it's right
It's black and it's white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up
You, You don't really want to stay, no
You, but you don't really want to go-o
You're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in and you're out
You're up and you're down


Someone call the doctor
Got a case of a love bi-polar
Stuck on a roller coaster
Can't get off this ride

You change your mind
Like a girl changes clothes

Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in then you're out
You're up then you're down
You're wrong when it's right
It's black and it's white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up
You're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in then you're out
You're up then you're down
You're wrong when it's right
It's black and it's white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up
(you) You don't really want to stay, no
(but you) But you don't really want to go-o
You're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in then you're out
You're up then you're down, down...